ABUSE

There are many kinds of abuse, and we are against ALL of them. No matter what the reason, abuse is NEVER the answer.

For those of you who think the only way to get someone to do what you want, is to throw your weight around…you are wrong! You are wrong for your thoughts and you are wrong for your actions.

For those of you who think making someone live in fear is the way to control them…you are wrong! You are wrong for your thoughts and you are wrong for your actions.

If you are living in fear...if you are living in abuse – We suggest you GET OUT – NOW! If the fear you are living with, is caused by abuse from someone in your life, you are worth more than that. Make a stand for the better. You, and only you can make this stand. You deserve better, and if you have children, Please make that stand for their sake.

There are many kinds of lies told against a partner, and we are against ALL of them. No matter what the reason, making someone out to be an abuser is the wrong thing to do. Lies are NEVER the answer.

In today's courts a Temporary Protective Order (TPO) is very easy to get…in most cases all you have to do is LIE …and you have your TPO. You can keep your spouse/partner away for several days while you decide what you are going to do next. More times than not, at the end of time for the TPO, the woman has decided she really doesn't want him gone and decides to drop the TPO. What they don't realize, especially if they are telling lies, they have tarnished the reputation of their spouse/partner…They have also tarnished their own reputation…by dismissing a TPO after claiming you are scared to death of him, really makes the judge wonder if you had good reason to have him thrown out in the first place. Taking out a TPO is very serious, but the courts today allow it to be done at the drop of a hat, then they allow the woman to dismiss it without having to give any reason why you are no longer scared of him.

While we do believe that a TPO should be available for those who need them, and we do believe that you should have the full protection of the law, WHEN NEEDED ; however…we do not think that you should be able to walk into the office of issuance and tell a LIE and be able to throw your spouse/partner out in the middle of the night without good reason and proper proof. We also believe that by doing this, you not only put an enormous strain on your relationship, but the pain you cause your children is beyond your wildest imagination. Please, think twice, three times and more before using the protection of a TPO to show your partner that you can have them thrown out at the drop of a hat. The TPO is for your protection; IF YOU NEED IT , it is not to show your spouse you can have them thrown out in the middle of the night.

We would like to offer these thoughts when it comes to telling your children the truth.

Children are very dependant on their parents. They look to them for everything in their lives. As they begin to grow into their own person they become what we make of them. Children come into this world with no knowledge at all. They learn what we teach them from day one.

If you scream and holler at (or in front of) your child, do not be surprised when they do the very same thing.
If you lie and cheat in front of your child, they will think that it is OK to do the same thing, cause after all, you are their parent and you do no wrong in their eyes.

NOW, FOR THE PART THAT CONCERNS US MOST!

When you and a partner split, and you have children, please be honest with them. Most of the time the children end up with their mother, and daddy is just a visitor. As wrong as that is, it does seem to be the normal happenings of today's family when Mommie and Daddy can no longer get along.

IF YOU HATE YOUR SPOUSE, PLEASE REMEMBER, YOUR CHILD DOES NOT. THEY LOVE YOU BOTH AND THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO BOTH OF YOU.

Try to put yourself in your child's place. Think of how it would be to go to bed at night and wonder why your daddy doesn't love you any more. Think of how it would hurt way down deep inside to know that the man you call daddy, doesn't love you anymore. He played with you and told you bed time stories, and called you his little girl. You always felt loved and secure when you were with him; but now you are lying in bed trying to go to sleep, and all you can think of is Mommie says he must not love you anymore. Now, try going to sleep with that on your mind. So you get up the next morning and get ready for school and all you can think about is your Daddy doesn't love you anymore. That is NO way for a child to live…and be aware; it makes your child suffer way down deep in their soul.

Mental cruelty is one of the most harmful forms of child abuse there is. It is also the hardest to prove. When a child is told their Daddy is gone and he must not love them anymore, they turn to the very person that is telling this untruth. So, if someone reports the mental cruelty to child services, and they go check it out, they will find nothing concrete in which to base the complaint. They make a report that nothing is wrong; cause there is food, clothing, a bed to sleep in, they are clean, the house is clean and as far as they can see, all is right with this child's world. So things continue down the same road that is causing the child so much heartache.

The very sad end to this kind of abuse, these children finally believe what they have been told, and they start to have very bad feelings for their daddy. They bury their love for him, they turn against him, they allow their anger to take over and that is what hurts them in the end. They lose a part of themselves when a parent is taken from them. They become someone that they were not meant to be.

Please, Please do not do this to your children. Love them, and allow them to love the people that love them so much. Do the right thing by your child; let them grow up with the guidance of both parents and both sides of their family.

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