The focus of this story is centered around ANDY & his Daddy, my adopted son, Jacob... (THAT is a story in itself, suffice it to say, my hubbys ex was very unstable, & when Jacob was 8, no longer parented. Due to her "condition", she abdicated, left state, but stayed in sporadic contact. I stepped in, & poof, nearly 13 years later I'm still here! I did NOT react to her instability & misplaced hostility in a kind & compassionate manner at all times, I DID NOT always make the best choices, there are things I'm down right ashamed of doing/saying in my dealings with her. I AM NOT ashamed of how much I love my son, our close relationship, & am proud of the man he is today. Birth mom has reintergrated in Jacobs life... like I said long story, but this part IS relevant.)
Now, my Grandson Andy has a brother, living with his mother in Arizona. No DNA test "proves" he is my Grandchild... but I honestly don't think we need one. Mom did not give child our family last name; she & my son were never married. Son lives in VA, about 2 1/2 hours from us, his parents. The night he was born, (May 19 2005, as we found out later) Papa & I waited for a phone call, or some type of notice... Surely, SOMEONE would call Jacob at least... No-one did. Andy was visiting in Arizona, & due back in VA. in a matter of weeks. When ANY member of our family would call to check on baby or Andy... we got NOTHING. Very strange.
On the night CJ was born, communication virtually stopped... Jacob knew Andy was to come home in a few weeks, he wondered about the second child... Flew out to get Andy & found out mom had disappeared with him & his brother across state lines... emails & letters & phone calls to her & her family went unanswered, police involvement was laughable, it's all in my blog. Mom contacted Dad nearly 6 months later, & by the Grace of God, Andy came home in Jan. '06. Oh God, how I fought to help my son bring him home! Before Andy was homeward bound, I sent a camera to Rikki, with a postage paid return envelope, & in December, got the camera back & went & had photos developed. First photos EVER of new Grandchild, first pictures in nearly a year of Andy, that Jacob or we, the paternal grandparents, received. FINALLY was given CJs birthdate & some info in Dec. as well.
Jacob & Rikki are "working" on things. Him & Andy in VA., CJ & Rikki in AZ. I used to send her proud Maamaw pictures of Andy... but she didn't seem too receptive so I stopped. I asked NUMEROUS times for pictures & info of CJ. Got a few, one time. Asked again, especially with CJs birthday... got nothing. Our (Mine & Papas) requests have been ignored for some reason. Don't want to "push" it... Jacob has no parental rights, CJ does not have our last name, & ya know... this is like de ja vau! I've asked & asked & Papa & I are just ... "left out".
But I/we would LOVE to be part of my 2nd Grandchilds life... I have SO much fun with Andy, I'd like to double that fun! Put my name in search engine under google blogs & was shocked to find a blog Rikkis sister Marcia posted... I couldn't believe it... Apparently, Jacobs bio mom in now in contact w/Rikki. The FALSE allegations in the blog were EXACTLY what bio mom, in hostility & not in control of herself, would accuse me of long ago... I cannot believe bio mom would use her apparently still hostile view of ME to compromise JACOB & ANDY. Last year, when all this went down, I let my son know, when it comes to the Grandchildren, Dianne, Papa & I would stand united. She's never met Rikki, & didn't meet Andy til this year (Jan), for some reason. (As stated, we live on the East Coast, but for some time, Dianne only lived a few hours away from Andy & Rikki.) I will not defend myself against to false allegations... everything can be refuted in my blog, but now realize, the "reason" Rikki is denying Maamaw, Papa & even Daddy & Andy a relationship with CJ is because of these false, libelous statements. There is a FAMILY unit in place, which could INCLUDE Dianne, but certainly should NOT exclude MAAMAW or PAPA. Does Dianne not understand the risk she's taking ~ does she not understand that "getting even with me" for raising a child she could not/would not, ~ is jeapordizing EVERYONE elses relationship with CJ? Jacob is so laid back, calm, & WANTS a relationship with bio mom; I say more power to both of them but HEY. Right is right & fair is fair.
Oh Lord, how this breaks my heart. I sent CJ an Easter basket... & it sat in the Post Office til someone finally claimed it, Papa & I've made attempts to have some type of relationship with CJ... & now I know why we aren't allowed to. Jacob is walking a very fine line, trying to find a way to be a part of CJs life & I don't want to risk any chance he has AT ALL.
For therecord: I AM bi-polar. Neither here nor there, but THAT statement is accurate. I would not nor did I EVER ask Rikki to have an abortion... Anyway.
I also took a quoter from this site & put it on my last blog entry. If that's not ok, please let me know & I'll erase it. I'm sorry this is all so convoluted, but my heart is just breaking...
Picture is of CJ & big brother Andy, taken last December. I now have newer ones of Andy... but not of CJ... |
