It needs to be said that until just now 12:00 p.m. est the vote was fathers are
not as needed in parenting as mothers... Perhaps an indicator of those who
wrote the article and those 1st alerted to vote... mhhhh Many seek to keep kids
a point of litigation in divorce simply because the services of determining
custody and collecting child support are very profitable to everyone except the
parents and child lost in unwise processes.
My observations being a 50/50 shared parenting dad... 50/50 is hard work...
I think of:
All the missed dates
All the classes I couldn't take
All the rallies I missed
All the financial sacrifices to ensure the kids are safe and happy in both homes
All the toys left in the dark like mines to break dads neck during midnight
fridge runs
All the poop I've inhaled changing diapers
The lose of adult humor from talking toddler all day
The removal of curse words from my vocabulary
Few to nights out for dad
The fish that never bit because noisy feet in the boat
The collection of remotes, Gameboys and cell phones that mysteriously ended up in the fish tank.
The time my toddler now 11 decided while dad was sleeping on the plane to rip out a patch of the ladies hair in front of us(the scream was unforgettable)
Changing a number 2 diaper on the crowded plane
The 2 year old helping to make daddies day by washing his $3000 laptop with water.
The thickness of the walls from paint covering layer after layer of Crayola art
All the dates that sat on sticky candy projectiles in my front seat
All the wipe you behind lessons after BM's
The latest plot against dad… putting clean clothes in the hamper to avoid folding them, although I think that was a trick mom taught them to help me catch-up for her years of washing my clothes.
and my most recent favorite.. my 3 year Juju had a stomach virus so he ran from his room to mine to vomit safely and secure in Daddies arms and all down his back and bed.
Being a Dad very involved in raising my kids it has become very obvious to me why statistics say moms are the #1 abuser of kids… Not because moms are bad but simply because it takes 2 parents and a village of relatives to raise kids. Psychologists and society have been calling for men to step up especially in the African American community who 1st saw the effects of the family re-engineering to one parent during slavery. Its high time the courts caught up with the reality woman are much more valuable in our society and workforce then being barefoot and pregnant. We as a society have expected mothers to do it all and this must come to an end for the sake of our future.
The first step is removing the kids from the combative divorce process ensuring they will have the freedom to spend time with their entire family of fit adults no just the parent with the favored attorney or largest home. People largely do what's expected, thus we need to raise the bar of expectation in that paying child support nor collecting can replace what a child needs from mom and dad.
Once we make this strong statement that kids deserve better and parenting is a job not an option, we can kick off more programs to help those in high conflict divided homes. People need education not lawyers.
Motherhood and fatherhood by their very physiology are interdependent for the life and stable upbringing of the child. Children call this a family as many seek to redefine it.
In a time when the ills of the single parented inner city children are spreading throughout suburban communities it amazes me we would not require any less from divorcing parents to keep out neighborhoods safe. 50/50 parenting cant work for all families from day one but should always be the target because 2 fit parents are in the best interest of the whole community. There isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep my kids out of the following stats, not enough vomit in the world….
Parade Poll
http://www.parade.com/articles/editions/2008/edition_07-06-2008/Intelligence_Report
Children from single parented homes account for:
63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)
90% of all homeless and runaway children.
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from single parented homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control).
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978).
71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God..s Children).
85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).
Cast your vote, this is about family preservation and guiding those not wise enough to see its not necessary to like who you work with… Parenting is a job being the most impact full entity in a child's future. |
