BUT, the biggest day by far is the day that little bundle of joy comes into your world. That little person is a part of you…doesn't matter if you are the Mother or the Father…that little person is a part of you …and always will be. Your whole life changes…and it will never be the same again. The miracle of birth is the utmost powerful transformation any family ever goes through.
I would like to share with you two moments in my life. There are eight other such moments in my family, just as important as these two, but these two births were the beginning of the building of my very large family. I hope they will help you to make the decision to share your child with their other family.
The day I found out I was going to be a grandmother; I was blown away. I can tell you from the very bottom of my heart, it was the single most over-whelming feeling I had felt since the two days I found out I was going to be a mother. The love I had for my own children was about to be strengthened by the addition of a grandchild. Dear Lord, please help me to be a good grandmother, and give me the strength to help guide them to be the best adult that can be. That is what I prayed everyday until the first of my many grandchildren was born.
And born she was…she was the most gorgeous baby I had ever seen.
She came to us all pink and wrinkled just like all babies, but she was a little different than most…she had the hiccups and she was OURS . We could hear her hiccup while the monitor was on her mother before she was born. I asked the nurse what that sound was and when she told me it was the hiccups…I cried…it was so real. Her Daddy fell madly in love with her as did I. The second I saw her, and he saw the look on my face, he picked me up off the floor and swung me around and around, the whole time saying, I have a daughter, I have a daughter, I have a daughter. We were both crying so hard, then he put me down, looked me in the eyes and said, “you go with my baby girl and I am going back with her mother…to make sure she is all right”. I did just what he asked, I went straight to the nursery with that wonderful, beautiful baby girl. As I watched through the tears in my eyes…to see them weigh her and measure her…and get her ready to join her mother, I realized I had been given a gift from God, and through the window of the nursery I said to her…“Baby girl, I love you, and I have a feeling you are going to need me as time goes on. I want you to know that I will always be here for you”. “I STILL AM; she is the driving force inside of me that keeps me going.” On that 4 th . day of May in 1989, the absolute love of my life was born to an unwed couple of which one was my son. I promised her on that day that she could always come to me, and that still stands today. She is one of the three grandchildren that is missing from our family, but the love I have for her and her two sisters is just as strong today as it was when each of them were born. It is the very same strong love I have for all the rest of my precious grandchildren.
The second birth I would like to tell you about is the birth of my oldest son's first child. I was once again blessed with a granddaughter. I had worried myself to death wondering if I could love another child as much as I did the first one. Good grief, what was I worried about? As I watched her Daddy bring her from delivery into the nursery…I was once again over whelmed at the addition to my family. I stood at the window and took pictures and cried my eyes out at her beauty…I fell madly in love with her, just like the first one & then the second one (the first two belonged to my youngest son). She too is a driving force in my life. She makes my world go round. We are very close and I am here for her when she needs me, ALWAYS! She has four siblings and they are the loves of my life as well. There is not much in this world I would not do for them, each of them!
There are two other grandchildren that I want to make it very clear how much I love them. They are the children of my husband's oldest son. I was there when they were born just like with my own sons, and I love them with all my heart.
The reason I have told you about this part of my life, is to let you feel the love I have in me for my grandchildren, so when I tell you that my sons love their children with as much passion as I just described to you…you will feel that as well. They would walk through fire for their children. They have made me very proud of who they are.
Five of my grandchildren are the product of now divorced mothers and fathers. Two of them are shared by their parents and are doing very well. However, the other three are living in a world that does not include their Daddy or Me. The courts have taken these precious children and allowed their stepfather to adopt them. They have been through a living nightmare, just as my son and I have.
The reason for this organization is to bring awareness to the very sad and unnecessary decisions of family court Judges. The Judges set on the bench and listen to what the attorneys say. They look at the evidence the attorneys present. When one attorney is a friend of the Judge, and the other attorney has never been in that court, and is not at all qualified for the case…you are looking at a one sided case that CANNOT be won by the side telling the truth.
I hope after reading this page…you will give your situation some very serious thought, and do the right thing by your child. We do understand that there are cases in which a child should be protected and thus making it impossible for one or the other of their parents to help in raising them, or even be in their life for that matter. We are saddened by that fact, but the fact remains nonetheless, and for those situations we plead with you to do what you have to do to protect your child…please make sure your child needs protecting…and your attempts to protect are not just vengeance or hatred. Please believe me when I tell you…you will regret your efforts…if you keep your child from a loving parent.
Please make sure you are protecting your child, and not making your child pay for the anger you feel over a relationship that did not make it. Don't make your child pay for what you and your partner could not make work.
But, with all that said…now we get down to the real situations taking place in this country, and many other countries as well.
I would like to say…as a product of my childhood…I hope to make you understand what your part in your children's lives is supposed to be.
When you made the decision to get into a relationship that could give you a child…you chose your child's other parent. They had no say in the decision, and they did not ask to be born. You may not have considered this person as a parent for a child of yours…however when you entered into that relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it was…and a child was brought into this world…you gave them that parent. With God's help, you and that person brought a baby into this world.
Whom God has brought together, let no man put asunder…Amen!
It is very clear that when two people break up, and there is a child involved, there is going to be conflict. You must remember that you do not get points for seeing how bad you can hurt the other person. You must not use your child as pawn to hurt, confuse or ruin the person that helped you to bring that wonderful child into BOTH your lives. You must remember that your child, is also the child of your once loved partner…even if that love was for one night only.
If you want your child to become what he or she was meant to be…allow them to have both parents. It is the only way they can be true to themselves and become what they were meant to be.
You must also remember there are close relatives on BOTH sides that love your child…you may not want to share them with those people…but your child loves them…just like they love your side. Those so called other people are called MeMa – PaPa – Uncle – Aunt…and oh yea, don't forget all those cousins. These are the people that make up where your child came from…their blood…their heritage…one half of their whole being. If you remove those other people from their lives, you remove half of who they are and who they can become.
So, if and when you move on to another love…it is perfectly understandable if that person loves your child. If you will give your child the chance to show you what they are made of…you will see they can love each of you at the same time. You do not have to worry that your child will love your ex more than you. If you give them what they need…and their other parent gives them what they need…they will love you both equally. And, when you introduce that new person into their life…and that person gives them what they need…they will love them as they should.
No child should have to go to bed (not even one night) and shed not one tear…because they are scared they will never see their other parent again.
Give yourself permission to love and protect your child to the best of your ability. Put their best interest first…they will love and respect you beyond your wildest imagination. You must love them from way down within…you must protect them by giving them what they need…what they deserve…what is their birthright…BOTH PARENTS!
Don't put yourself in a position of telling untruths to keep your child from their other parent. It will come back to haunt you in ways you will never be able to explain, nor keep hidden…for the truth ALWAYS has a way of coming out.
The truth will stand when the world goes down, the truth is the only way to keep your children close.
Someone will always be there to see to it! |
