Information About Visitation

Visitation is One of the Most Complex Subjects in Today's Divorce World.

Please understand that all the information on this site is strictly opinions, research from the Internet, research in the county courthouses, but most of all from personal experience.

The process of bringing a child into this world is such a simple one. Two people meet, they connect, they come together and a child is born. Now that in its own is not so complicated. It is normal, natural, and expected from young people as they become adults and start on their journey of life.

Our goal on this site, in our organization, in our office and in our lives is to bring children from divorce to a happy and acceptable place while they finish growing up.

We hope that in sharing our experiences we are able to make a difference for you and your child. Our purpose for this site is to bring awareness into your life and hopefully you can share that with someone else, and thus make a difference for them as well. We pray that with our goal to help, we can help all understand that children are a gift, a miracle that comes into your life for you to teach and guide and help them become happy, productive adults.

“VISITATION” – WOW – What a word! If We Take a Look in the Dictionary We Find...

1. The act or an instance of visiting or an instance of being visited: rules governing visitation at a prison.
2. An official visit for the purpose of inspection or examination, as of a bishop to a diocese.
3. The right of a parent to visit a child as specified in a divorce or separation order.
4.  
1. A visit of punishment or affliction or of comfort and blessing regarded as being ordained by God.
2. A calamitous event or experience; a grave misfortune.
5. The appearance or arrival of a supernatural being.
6. Visitation Roman Catholic Church.
1. The visit of the Virgin Mary to her cousin Elizabeth.
2. May 31, observed in commemoration of this event.

Main Entry: vis·i·ta·tion
Pronunciation: "vi-z&-'tA-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : an official visit (as for inspection) < visitation of the home of a neglected child>
2 : access to a child granted esp. to a parent who does not have custody <supervised visitation > < visitation rights>

vis i·ta tion·al adj.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Main Entry: vis·i·ta·tion
Pronunciation: "vi-z&-'tA-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : an official visit (as for inspection) < visitation of the home of a neglected child>
2 : access to a child granted esp. to a parent who does not have custody <supervised visitation > < visitation rights>

Source : Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

visitation

n 1: an annoying or frustrating or catastrophic event; "his mother-in-law's visits were a great trial for him"; "life is full of tribulations"; "a visitation of the plague" [syn: trial , tribulation ] 2: any disaster or catastrophe; "a visitation of the plague" 3: an official visit for inspection or supervision; "the commissioner made visitations to all the precinct stations"; "the recent visitation of the bishop to his diocese"

visitation

visitation : in CancerWEB's On-line Medical Dictionary

Visitation, as you see above most of the definitions for visitation is hard. Why would you subject a child to visitation of a parent, when you can allow them to share in the lives of that parent, and the parent in the life of the child?

BUT, most of all, why would you not allow your child and their other parent to be as close as you want for you and your child? Please believe that your child is very capable of loving you both.

If the situation is somewhat normal when your child is born, two of you will watch your baby grow and change on a daily basis. The one thing you can be assured of is the love that will begin to build between you and your baby, and your baby and their daddy. That love begins the very second your baby comes into this world. It is the single most important feeling your child will feel for many years. It will bring our child happiness, security and growth of personal feelings. They learn your voice, your touch, the manner in which you deal with them and your personality. So, it is understandable if one of those parents is no longer in their daily world, your child will become confused, scared and most of all, they feel as if it is their fault.

So now, this is the way that our family law system has chosen to deal with all this stress a child goes through. Let's make daddy a visitor. Lets make him go away for days and weeks at a time. Let's allow only one phone call per month, or better yet, let's not allow phone calls at all, cause it disrupts the child's life. After all, your child is upset cause daddy is gone, so let's make sure that they learn to feel like no one cares and that daddy didn't either.

Now let's run down the list of things you can tell this child.

The list could go on and on, however I think there is enough here for you to get the point.

Now let's list a better way to handle this, thus saving the feelings of your child.

Please allow your children to grow up believing in the joys of love. Let them be as normal as possible when a divorce is the only way.

Don't make this man a stranger; after all he helped you create this wonderful child.

Don't make your child feel as if they have to hide how they feel about their daddy. He is their daddy, they deserve so have him in their life. It is their right, and it is your obligation to make this happen by making things for your child as easy as possible.

Your child has enough love for all those lucky people in their life. If there are 100 people in your child's life, they can and will love them all and that includes you. Yes, they will love you beyond your wildest imagination, and all you have to do is love them enough to share them with the man that helped you create them.

Visitation

If a child is born of two people, why does one of them have to visit when those two people no longer have a relationship?

We understand the fundamentals of Marriage – Divorce…Living Together - No Longer Living Together…One Night Together - Never Together Again…Blind Date – Eyes Now Open. Whatever the reason or however it happened, if you are with someone and together you create a child, that child belongs to the BOTH of you.

We also understand for so many partners, only one of them or neither of them wants a baby. They are there for the feelings and the gratification. They don't consider for a moment what will happen to a baby if one is the result of their feelings and gratification. We also know that so many times with a little forethought there would not be a need for a child to suffer. If these two people would stop to consider what they are doing, and are they ready for this person to be a parent to a child they might conceive together?

Two people that might make each other feel good, but are not ready for a child, should see that one is not conceived. If they fail to do that, then they must find a way to share their precious child. These two people are both responsible for bringing their child into the world, and they both are responsible for raising their child.

May we say as again…we realize there are men and women that do not want a child. We know there are men and women that are not capable of raising a child. We are very aware that there are men and women that have NO business being involved with the raising of a child. And, for those men and women that are not respectful of the age of a child and have designs on a child that are way out of line, which in our view is the most horrible criminal act on this earth…we say to them… STAY AWAY FROM CHILDREN, DO NOT CONCEIVE A CHILD.

After all that, it is now time to try to get our point across about visitation. Children do not want to visit their other parent. They want to have that parent with them, in their life, giving them direction and helping to guide them to adulthood. If their parents cannot be together, we think the child should have a life with both parents.

When Mom and Dad raise their child under one roof, and do their best to guide their child to the best of their ability…their child will be the better for it. However, if Mom and Dad can no longer get along…or for some reason can no longer live together…why do their children have to suffer?

We believe, in shared parenting…we believe, children need both parents…we believe, both parents need their children, BUT most of all we believe in the right for all to be happy and never have to give any family member up for any reason.